Iconorific meme for [profile] bibliokat and [profile] cyanei, Bart/Batman, mild cracky slash

Jan. 7th, 2006 02:07 pm
jamjar: (Kiss me my fool)
[personal profile] jamjar

"I think I got rid of the things in the basement, but-- whoa, are you okay?" Impulse skids to a halt in front of him, and Bruce's hands clench. He can feel them move, feel the pressure of the gauntlet around them and he can there is joy in feeling it, a fierce satisfaction at any sensation. Something in him revels in the sheer joy of physicality. The feeling is not alien, even if he knows that the thing triggering it right now is.

"Should I get someone?" Impulse moves-- no, he is closer, faster than Bruce can see, peering up at him, close enough (we can touch him, we can touch and feel and-- this voice that rides him, that is him and isn't, laughs. We can hurt him exactly as much as we can make him want to, no more than that) for him to reach down and the sight of his hand, the contrast between the slick, hard, black artifice that covers it and the chaotic softness of the boy's hair is intensely appealing.

He is aware that part of him finds this --distasteful, or unwise-- but it is dim, secondary to the feeling of power, the rush of desire and control when he holds the boy's head steady by the hair. He could teach him so much, could show him (we could, the ghost whispers in his mind, he is young, but old enough, and ready and we could show him how to hold and be held and--) so much.

He crouches down and pulls the boy up and kisses him, pulling his head back to grant himself greater access. He can feel a pulse like a hummingbird's heartbeat, the particular feverish heat peculiar to speedsters, warmth and sweetness that suggests he subsists on honey and chocolate. His mouth opens to protest and Bruce kisses him harder and--

And then it's gone. The exorcism he had left instructions for has worked, or possibly the spirit was merely appeased, and Bruce is left with nothing but himself, with the leftover desire that still inhabits his body and Impulse's hair tangled around his fist.

He drops him and steps back, gathering himself up. "We have to ensure the other students are safe and the cultists are safely captured."

Impulse blinks, slowly enough for Bruce to be able to see it, then disappears. Bruce quietly takes care of the clean-up, making sure that he uses as little violence as possible. Confirming his self-control.



"I took everyone to the hospital," Impulse says meeting him outside. "Just so I know, does this count as a team-up? Or can I say you were just helping me, because I know the cultists came from Gotham, but technically, I was here first and--"

Bruce resists the urge to reach for the painkillers in his belt. "Impulse," he says. Impulse shuts up with gratifying speed, although Bruce knows the situation will not last. "Some people may have been affected when they raised the spirits--"


Impulse nods. "Like you, you mean?"

"Yes. I should have taken more precautions against it, but--"

"S'okay," Impulse says. "It's not like you did anything bad, right?" he peers at Bruce with an expression of concern. "Do you need more time to come to terms with it?" he says, as if it's a suggestion he's heard often, but never in regards to himself. "Was it, like, traumatic and you need time to deal and repress and do whatever Bat-people do."

Bruce knows enough about speedsters to have moved away before Impulse can pat his shoulder. Impulse gives him the mildly confused look all the people with enhanced speed seem to have when they are out-manoeuvred. "You--" Bruce starts to say.

"Me? Oh, I'm way okay with it, but I had a lot more time to think about it all and prepare myself and then deal with the fall-out. I thought about moving away when you started to grab me, then I figured I could vibrate out of your hands or something. And I thought about asking Wally or Jay or Kon or maybe Cissie or Tim for advice, but then I figured Tim probably wouldn't want to know and Cissie wouldn't be able to answer me in time and Kon would tell Tim and it might mess things up with Wally if he knew and Jay as well if you ever had to work with the JSA, so I figured I'd better work it out for myself. So then I figured that you probably wouldn't do this on your own -- right? 'Cause everyone knows that you and Catwoman are all-- and Zatanna as well, and you'd probably go for someone like Tim, except probably not Tim because if you were going to kiss him you already would have, and then why would you kiss me? Or maybe Kon, because practically everyone else does, or even Wally because you're team-mates, but then you're Batman and you probably wouldn't let yourself get mind-controlled and--"

Bruce grabs the boy's hair and pulls it to make him stop, just for a moment, before the sense of déjà vu has him releasing his grip. "Focus. Stop rambling," he says, drawing himself up into his cloak. The movement makes him more impressive, a looming figure. He knows this because he designed it for that effect, just as he knows that doing it now is more in the way of self-protection then anything else.

The boy looks briefly halted, but only briefly, because he shrugs. "Like I said, I thought about it, like, a lot." He emphasises the last word with hand gesture that is almost too fast for Bruce to see.

"You--" Bruce starts to say. You let it happen, or you didn't stop me, but Impulse interrupts him with a wide-eyed, disturbingly innocent expression.

"Well, yeah. I mean, sure. You're Batman, everyone knows you're like, this big slu-- uh, lady's man, that's what Wally and Jay says, and I just thought, you know." He shrugs. "That you'd be really good at kissing. Because of all the practise," he adds, as if Bruce might not understand. "So I just thought I might as well." Impulse frowns. "I don't know about that hair-holding thing. It might hurt if you do it a lot, especially if it's just to a normal person. Maybe you're too used to metas, and it probably doesn't hurt them when you do it. I'll ask Kon…"

He disappears before Bruce can blink. He closes his eyes and contemplates the therapeutic benefits of amnesia.

End.

Date: 2006-01-07 03:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petronelle.livejournal.com
You hurt my brain. In the good way -- oh, Bart! -- but ow.

Date: 2006-01-07 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Bart has that effect on a lot of people.

Date: 2006-01-07 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sister-wolf.livejournal.com
Hee! *dies* God, I love Batman being steamrollered by Bart. And that last line is perfect.

Date: 2006-01-07 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Have you read the Impulse issue with Batman and the Joker? Poor Bruce. Poor Joker.

Date: 2006-01-07 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rubynye.livejournal.com
I'm a HORRIBLE person, because I'm rolling about howling with laughter.

Date: 2006-01-07 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
We're all horrible people. The kind of people who would inflict Bart on people like Bruce who only deserve it a little.

It is no comfort at all that canon and its writers are more evil by half.

Date: 2006-01-07 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caia-comica.livejournal.com
Oh dear. *giggles* The good thing about being a speedster is that you can think about things WAY too hard--in seconds! This is lovely.

Date: 2006-01-07 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Unfortunately, just because you havethetime to think everything out, doesn't mean you'll come to the wise conclusion.

Date: 2006-01-07 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com
Hee! Bart! This is pretty much perfect, in that brain breaking way. And you know, it's not often that I feel *sympathy* towards *Batman*. Awesome!

Date: 2006-01-07 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Poor, poor Bruce. Poor anyone that has to deal with Bart, especially when he thinks things through.

Date: 2006-01-07 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bibliokat.livejournal.com
Hee! It's awesome, thank you!

Bart having so much time to think about it and debating who he could ask and this-!

Bruce knows enough about speedsters to have moved away before Impulse can pat his shoulder. Impulse gives him the mildly confused look all the people with enhanced speed seem to have when they are out-manoeuvred.

I love how it takes someone like Impulse to throw Batman off balance and make him revert to He knows this because he designed it for that effect, just as he knows that doing it now is more in the way of self-protection then anything else.

I spotted a typo: Kon would tell Tim and it might mess things up with Wally if he knew and Jay as well is you ever had to work with the JSA,

OMG, I want Bart to come back and ask for more kissing practice! Kissing lessons! *giggles*

Date: 2006-01-07 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Thank you! And thanks for letting me know about the typo. All fixed!

Date: 2006-01-08 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thete1.livejournal.com
jLKFHDJhdf WRONG WRONG WRONG.

I adore you. :D

Date: 2006-01-08 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
jLKFHDJhdf WRONG WRONG WRONG.


Yeah, that's what I was going for.

Date: 2006-01-08 04:35 am (UTC)
ext_11844: (Default)
From: [identity profile] amarin-rose.livejournal.com
Hah! Bee-hee-hee! Oh, this is great cracktastic fun. I love how Bruce is completely wrong about everything that Bart thinks about what went on. And the last line was to die for. *dies* XD

Date: 2006-01-08 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
No amounting of training or preparation can really prepare anyone for dealing with Bart. Not even Batman.

Date: 2006-01-09 02:41 am (UTC)
ext_11844: (Default)
From: [identity profile] amarin-rose.livejournal.com
So true! :)

Date: 2006-01-10 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] navisx.livejournal.com
*fic-love*

Date: 2006-01-10 07:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2006-01-10 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyvyola.livejournal.com
You're Batman, everyone knows you're like, this big slu-- uh, lady's man

Oh, Bart! Don't ever change so much that you can't break Batman's brain!

(Pssst! Impulse shuts up with graitifying speed)

Date: 2006-01-10 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Oh, Bart! Don't ever change so much that you can't break Batman's brain!

I don't think he could.

And thanks for letting me know about the typo.

Date: 2006-11-05 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tavella.livejournal.com
Dear god, this made me laugh a *lot*.

Date: 2006-11-06 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Thanks! That's pretty much the reaction I was going for.

Date: 2006-11-24 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vespa331.livejournal.com
Yaaaaaay! There's a cracky corner of my brain that loves Impulse/Batman so someone pointed me to this fic and it's Marvelous.

Date: 2006-11-25 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Thanks! It's up on there my list of pairings that are pure crack, but I love them anyway.

Date: 2007-04-03 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yami-chan.livejournal.com
I just found this randomly and I am so happy I did. It's so awesome. I'll be laughing about this for days.

Oh Batman. Oh Bart.

I love you.

Date: 2007-04-04 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
Thanks! I don't know if you ever read the issueof Impulse with Batman, but it was pretty special.

Date: 2007-04-04 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yami-chan.livejournal.com
I've read issues with Batman and Impulse together. Oh how I love how Bart...um effects him. But not THE issue. That's the one with the Joker too? I should probably get around to reading it. It's probably hilarious.

Date: 2009-02-09 06:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cccccontroversy.livejournal.com
Why did I never comment on this to thank you for it?

I have been, and remain, a terrible person.

ps: THIS FICLET IS STILL AMAZING, AND YOU HAVE SUCH BRASS BALLS TO HAVE WRITTEN IT ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ AND FOR ME ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Date: 2009-02-09 09:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamjar.livejournal.com
No worries! Really, it's amazing how many ficlets are written under the influence of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

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